The Sims 4‘s game-changing free update drops have added complex layers of customization to the already sprawling roster of options. Alongside the High School Years expansion pack, the EA team rolled out the sexuality hotfix update that, for the first time in Sims history, allows you to set your Sim’s sexual orientation and ascertain that of your NPC crush.
Before plucking up the courage to hit on someone, try to suss out whether their interests match your own. Here’s a guide to the sexual orientation system and how to use it for realistic gameplay.
Updated December 7, 2022 by Jasmine Gould-Wilson: The Sims 4 is an endless sandbox of mayhem, allowing you to create and manage the lives of quirky families just trying to get by without drowning in their own swimming pool. Whether you want to create a vampire-werewolf household or you like to keep your Sims firmly on this side of the mortal coil, every Sim deserves to find their special someone. If you’re clueless in the world of Sim love and need some help parsing the new attraction system, we’ve collected some key tips and info to help you define your Sim’s sexuality – or even change it on a whim.
Create-A-Sim Sexual Orientation Settings
If you’re making your Sims from scratch in the Create-A-Sim menu, you can edit their gender and sexuality preferences in the gender panel to the left of the basic information window when you add a new Sim to the household.
The preferences are split into three categories.
This indicates who your Sim will fall in love with. Your options are Man, Woman, or deselect both options to choose none.
|WooHoo or Mess Around Interests|
This indicates who your Sim will consider for a physical relationship. Your options are Man, Woman, or deselect both options to choose none.
This indicates your Sim’s openness to testing the waters of their romantic attractions. Ticking “no” will make them politely reject advances from Sims who don’t match up to their romantic preferences.
How To Change A Sim’s Sexuality
If you’re playing in Live Mode, or wish to edit your Sim’s preferences further down the line — such as when a child ages up to teenhood or if you’re no longer open to exploring your attractions — you can edit these by clicking on a mirror and selecting “Change Sim”.
This will open your Sim in Create-A-Sim, so you can simply make the necessary changes in the gender panel.
However, if you want to make the Sims 4 sexuality options a little more fleshed out and realistic, you can download the LGBT Mod. This community-made mod will give your Sim the option of selecting their own sexual orientation with definitive labels such as lesbian, gay, transgender, bisexual, asexual, and more.
You can have your Sims question their sexuality, and let the game randomly select a sexuality for you. The mod also creates the option to ask others what their sexuality is. Bear in mind that, unless you actively set your in-game romantic and WooHoo preferences to match your modded sexuality, you might be alarmed when your lesbian Sim develops a crush on her male best friend.
The mod can be used with the existing base-game functions to create a more fleshed-out and comprehensive LGBT life for your Sims — which is what they deserve!
NPC Sexual Orientation
Butterflies swirl in your stomach as you stand before your crush, the love of your swooning teenage life, and ask them out to Prom.
Alas, you walk away with your heart in pieces and an Embarrassed moodlet to boot, since your crush isn’t into you that way at all. Bummer!
To avoid this happening, there are two ways to find out the sexuality of Sims in The Sims 4:
- Ask about their romantic/WooHoo/mess-around preferences. If your relationship with another Sim is high enough, allow your interest to be piqued and simply ask your crush what they’re into. Even if you’re not an option for them, it’s better to be let down gently and save your pride.
- Shoot your shot and flirt with them. If you’re not one to cosy up and get to know people before slinging the compliments, throw caution to the wind and flirt in order to discover a Sim’s preferences. Just bear in mind that flirting with someone who isn’t into you could land you with a powerful Embarrassed moodlet for a couple of hours.
When your Sim discovers the preference of another Sim, it will show up in their Sim Information panel. You can access this from your Friends window in the lower-right toolbar.
Once you know their attractions, your Sim won’t be able to flirt with Sims whose interests don’t include you.
If you really are desperate for your Sim to date an NPC that isn’t compatible with them, you can always befriend them, add them to your household, and then edit their preferences in the Create-A-Sim menu using a mirror.
How To Make A Sim Romantically Interested In Another Sim
If you want to cut to the chase and don’t mind cheating to do so, there is a way to get your Sims loved up with their NPC beau of choice by using cheats.
The modifyrelationship cheat will let you alter the romantic relationship of any NPC Sim and your own without having to move them in to your household. To do this:
- Open the cheat console using Ctrl + Shift + C
- Type in modifyrelationship [Sim 1’s first name] [Sim 1’s last name] [Sim 2’s first name] [Sim 2’s last name]  [LTR_Romance_Main].
For example, if you wanted Bob Smith to have a full romance bar with Todd Salmon, you would type:
- modifyrelationship Bob Smith Todd Salmon 100 LTR_Romance_Main